Who the hell do YOU think you are?

I've got to thinking, mainly because being abroad all the time demands it. I think it's impossible to escape the thinking and reflection that comes with being in a foreign environment. It's true to say that I have been in Spain for 5 months now and therefore it is not so 'foreign' anymore. And I feel it too. I feel a lot more settled here and content.
Being a 'foreigner' though...hmmm, not sure how I feel about that. In some ways it's exhillirating to be the 'guirri' (local term for a person like me). I feel perhaps slightly narcissistically special. I am from a different place than these people around me, I am exotic and do things differently...I can't really say that though because I live in Madrid and it's full of outsiders!
No, being foreign is incredibly personal (as everything about this year seems to be). Think for a moment for those who have not lived abroad before how it might be to do things and say things your whole life, to have a specific way of living that has never been brought into question before because they have been perceived as normal and then suddenly, in a new and strange environment, for all those things to be challenged or questioned. Suddenly the way you cook that particular dish or the way you engage with others may seem so strange to foreign people. It's a bizarre feeling! And one that makes you feel slightly uneasy because it makes you question who you are and how you live your life. Now, maybe I am too introspective but I have occasionally felt more defensive here and more vulnerable - more open to critisicm than I do in Britain simply because I am in a country in which I don't feel confident. It makes you realise how much a product of your culture you really are - in a way it's nice because going home and mixing with your people again is such a pleasure - it's just naturally so easy - you can relax. But it also makes you take the time to try and understand better the host culture you're in - like a game or a puzzle, you need to figure out what certain sayings really mean - whether the irony here is the same as at home, whether it's appropriate or acceptible to say or do this - life here is one big mad cluedo!
On the other hand, you realise that despite the language barrier and the different histories and conquests and events that have shaped each country, we are all human and we all have shared values. Spain is nothing like Britain. It's language is a product of that, yet despite all our differences we all share in common love, family, friendship and respect. We also share the flip-side; the social problems, the people left behind, the cycle of poverty and violence. It all exists in our world of different languages and cultures. It makes you realise that language really is just a series of grunts and noises. There is no need for us to be afraid of each other - we are all one. It's taken me 5 months to only begin to understand what that really means. And it makes this all completely worth it.